My name is Rezina and I have just started my own business as an Education Consultant. Interesting timing you may think; given that the country has just entered our third lockdown due to Coronavirus, and all the schools have just closed! Hmm well as a solution focused, optimist (or so I'm told), I actually think the timing is pretty good. I have time to really think about what I want to do and how I want to do it - how often does that ever happen in life, and certainly not in the world of education? Some may describe it as a luxury. 

I have worked in education for a long time, both directly as a teacher and then less directly working with vulnerable children and young people in lots of different contexts. More recently I have focused on working with the adults that support children and young people around their education. I've enjoyed some of the most rewarding jobs and I am so fortunate to have gained heaps of knowledge and experience from all of them, which I am now eager to share. 

My plan for this blog is to start to do just that, share some of my reflections. A chance to think about all the things that I have learnt and how we can put these into practice; to help the adults to look after their well being and to help children (particularly those who are more vulnerable) succeed in education and beyond. I am hoping that this blog provides likeminded individuals with that 'nod of the head' moment; they aren't the only one who feels like this. And my real ambition is that I get the less likeminded individuals to take a moment to consider what I have said and think about whether I have something worth listening to! 

My background includes a lot of training delivery, and this is something I love and hope to do lots more of. There is something unique about the buzz in a room (real or virtual) when everyone just gets it. I experienced this a great deal with Safeguarding training, where you can really make people think about the children they are working with and what they may be going through. That feeling that you might just make a difference to a child in trouble, because you have sent one person away with a little more knowledge, is incredible. Likewise, I have recently been doing increasing amounts of training with schools around the impact of early adversity and developmental trauma. Again knowing that a teacher may look at a child through a different lens the day after because of something you have said or asked them to think about, is what makes me tick.

I love a good quote and a recent one really resonated with me, both in terms of the work I am doing and also what I am supporting others to do with the children they work with. It said;

"Remember. The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Be patient. Be humble. Keep moving forward and know that all this hard work you're putting in day in and day out will produce the results you've been looking for. Your time is coming. Do not give up."

I can't credit anyone for this quote but it is so true. As any adults working with, or even with our own children, we have to focus on the long term. We say things to children hoping they're listening, and often feel so frustrated that we have just said something profound and life changing only to be greeted by a shrug or a roll of the eyes. However just because it doesn't immediately make a difference doesn't necessarily mean that what you have said has not been heard. I love the phrase 'every interaction is an intervention' because this is how we have to work with children. We don't know what the child is storing away from the things that we say, we therefore have to ensure that more of what we do say is helpful and positive, rather than shaming or negative. We all know that if someone says something critical or unkind about us we remember that forever, the compliment however we find harder to accept. We may just remind ourselves of it later though, and especially if it comes from someone we admire or respect - how nice does that feel?! So why don't we try and leave the children we work with that feeling, because for many of the most vulnerable children, they already come to us full to the top of the negative stuff. Our job can't always be to repair, what we can try and do is redress the balance. 

I once worked with a young boy when I worked in Youth Justice, he was a really bright young man who had just had a pretty rubbish deal out of life so far. He lived on an estate where it was easier to get into trouble than stay out of it, and his brains were an asset that not all his friends had at their disposal. I found working with him challenging, not because he was difficult to engage or obstinate but because he was completely the opposite. As a naïve and eager Youth Offending Team worker I just couldn't understand why he would not choose to do the right thing, because he fully understood why he should, and even discussed with me what he may be able to achieve if he made better decisions. Yet he didn't, time after time.

I recommended a book to him once, flippantly in a conversation, 'A Child Called "It"' by Dave Pelzer. I spoke about it only to suggest that what happens to you when you are younger does not have to define who you grow up to be. This was long before I knew anything about the impact of trauma, and I probably need to read the book again to try and further consider what factors helped Dave Pelzer to become the man he did. However it had struck a chord with me, that we have to remain aspirational for all children, as they all have the capability to succeed. If they don't succeed, we have to wonder what more we could have done. I talked about it to this boy, more thinking out loud rather than considering he would actually listen to what I was saying. And he didn't really, just nodded and shrugged and then changed the topic of conversation as soon as he could.

It was three years later that I saw him in the City Centre. He had a job and was doing okay for himself. I was pretty surprised that he recognised me, I was totally shocked that he then thanked me for recommending the book! I am by no means suggesting that one conversation or even one book changed this boy's life, and I am not even claiming that it did. My point merely is that it really matters what we say to children, and only they will ever know what they heard and what difference it has made. I just know that I would prefer to be remembered for the positive things that I have said, than for just adding to their negative stuff. 

#justbekind #thedayyouplanttheseed